Crunch Time

Yesterday I had a little meltdown. I wanted to cry for no reason, I could not stand to read one more word. I was considering going home, and that would have meant not coming back to Orlando for my Monday & Wednesday exams…basically saying bye-bye to law school…forever. This always happens when I study property, which is a class that I usually enjoy, but it’s so damn hard!!! Today is a better day then yesterday, but I have a feeling I am killing my brain!!!

good food, good friends

Studying all night and going to bed at 5: 30 in the morning, waking up at 7 and taking an exam for 3 hrs, all feels much better when it’s followed by good company and good food. I had always heard of the Japanese restaurants where they cook in front of you, but I had never eaten at one until last night. It was a very unique and entertaining experience, on top of the fact that the food was excellent.

Today, I am right back to studying for two more exams.

can't wait..

I am slowly beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel. In fact, I am three exams closer to my summer break people, and it feels so good…despite the lack of sleep, tired/black circled eyes, poor diet, along with all the caffeine intoxication.

Where you are right now, is perfect.

I read this somewhere today, and it was exactly what I needed to hear as I drive myself mad studying for finals:

You are exactly where you need to be.
You are not missing out, falling behind, doing it wrong, not trying hard enough.
You are doing more than enough.
Whatever opinions you have about it, however imperfect.

This is yours.
Where you are right now, is perfect.

green life

http://green.yahoo.com/calculator/;_ylt=AoCTa71J7aUJnVStdX2VnYGJV8cX

The above link will allow you calculate the amount of carbon emission that your household creates, by simply answering some questions. The average American emits 9.44 tons of Co2/yr. Mine came out to 30.4 tons!!!, with 9.2 at home, 4.5 on the road, and 16.7 in the air all due to ONE overseas flight and one “little trip” to the Smokey Mountains last year. Now I truly understand the impact of the airline fiasco where transatlantic flights were flying almost empty. What an unnecessary waste!

I have tried to implement little practices in my life in an attempt to live a greener life, but it seems like 1 oversees trip does the trick in rendering all of them futile.

Tips on how to live a greener life:

Change all your light-bulbs in your home to Compact florescent bulbs (CFLs). I have been meaning to do this for a while, so hopefully it will get done this summer. They might cost a little more than the regular light bulbs, but they last much longer and they will be economical in terms of your electric bill as well.

When at the grocery store, skip the whole paper or plastic question by bringing your own reusable cloth bags. A lot of grocery store chains have been selling them for as little as 99c, and they fit a lot more things than the regular plastic/paper bags. The trick is to always keep them with you in your car so that you can use them on the next trip to the grocery store; otherwise you will end up like me, buying new ones every time you are at the store.

When at Starbucks or any other coffee place, ask for a ‘for here” cup instead of the plastic/paper ones. And trust me that shot of espresso will taste much better in a porcelain cup as opposed to drinking it out of a paper one. More importantly, at home don’t use disposable utensils and plates. Also, save glass jars from things that you buy at the supermarket, they are far more hygienic than plastic containers.

Turn off the faucet when brushing your teeth. If you follow the dentist’s orders and brush for 2 minutes, 2 minutes of letting the water run will waste a lot of water.

When buying new appliances look for the energy saving sign.

I personally am not willing to give up traveling, and if you are one of those people too you might wan to consider terrapass.com, or carbonfound.org where you can calculate the amount of carbon emission that you are personally responsible for during a flight and pay a fee for how much it would cost to offset those emissions for renewable energy. The money that you pay w goes towards buying carbon credits that fund clean energy projects like wind energy farms. It’s a very creative idea. I know there is something similar in practice with respect to companies who are not willing to reduce their carbon emissions, instead buy credits from those who do not pollute as much. It’s called Emission Trading, and it’s growing at a very fast rate. The buyer pays a charge for the pollution that they are responsible; it almost sounds like a license to pollute, but it’s better than not doing anything about the whole ordeal, because theoretically this way companies will have an incentive to reduce their carbon emissions instead of having to pay other companies for their credits. It raises issues such as: putting the burden of dealing with environmental problems on developing countries instead of developed nations, because naturally a company down in Mexico will emit far less carbon than a huge US corporation. Nonetheless, I think it’s a move in the right direction. The problem is that the rest of the world is far more engaged in such practices, than the US is.

of love&marriage&divorce

After reading Klodiana’s http://klodiana-words.blogspot.com/2007/10/forever.html nifty essay on marriage and divorce (which was provoked by a previous entry from Belle on the same topic), I began to write her a reply on her blog only to discover that the same thing happened to me as her…it was to long.

In my mind there is nothing emotionally that my marriage to my husband has given me as opposed to the relationship that we had before getting married. Considering that we were living together even before marriage, I never felt any different as a woman after it; I just got to play Cinderella for one day in a pretty white dress, had an awesome party and that was all. I believe the distinctions are legal ones, and those sometimes make a big difference in terms of property rights, inheritances, legal status in a country, and even trivial things such as medical insurance etc. I do not consider my marriage as an encumbrance, meaning that if the moments ever comes that I doubt our relationship, it won’t be a factor in making the decision whether to go our separate ways or not. What will be a strong factor is my relationship which is not defined by marriage but the emotional relationship which I share with him. At the risk of being perceived as if I am advertising for divorce, I am going to say it: sometimes divorce is the “healthiest choice” when a relationship becomes lethal. I don’t think we should see it as a necessarily bad thing. After all it’s only natural that if you are going to have such a thing as marriage, where two people are united together legally/spiritually/physically, for those occasions when life is too long to stay together forever and people are transformed so much that you no longer co-exist, divorce is logical.

I don’t know if it’s just our super egos that play a role in the many divorces in today’s age. I think it’s that, but also a combination with a certain philosophy about modern day life where we feel that everything should come to us easily and with no struggles; therefore divorce is only convenient. If people have made a commitment to one another be it thru marriage or not, I think they should evaluate their relationship and make a determination if the benefits of keeping that relationship alive outweigh the costs required to get thru the struggle. I know I am talking economics here, but I think the same logic can apply in the issue at hand.

I suppose part of the reason why we have such higher rates of divorce today (apart from sociological reasons one of them being that women are highly more independent today economically and otherwise than they were 50 yrs ago—which is a great thing), is the fact that people are too damn lazy to work at making a relationship function, they don’t understand that when making a commitment to love is also making a commitment to make certain sacrifices so that you can make that relationship last. Love is not just that enormous fire that you feel at first when the butterflies tickle your guts and all is well and dandy; love is also that dying fire which needs more fuel to be rekindled, and sometimes even the ashes that are left behind after a huge storm. I believe that if you value your relationship with someone else, you should be committed to make sacrifices and give it your all to make it last, whether married or not. Therefore, it’s not marriage that makes the difference whether two people stick together or not, but how much they truly value their relationship, and ultimately how much they love one another.

Personally, amongst all the other things that life has thrown at me be it good or bad, I feel that the best luck I have had has been in love, and I feel even luckier to have committed to a relationship at a younger age than most my friends, because it makes me feel like the person whose legal name is my “husband” is my best friend of all. I know it sounds all sweet, cheesy and Hollywood romance type of crap, but I truly feel this way.

summer...

Yesterday someone (not me so don't come asking me for money) won 6 grant from the lottery and they were mad as hell for being “not so lucky” and missing the grand price of 6 million by one number. I was reminded of how lucky I am to have found my love so early in life, and to just be in love generally. I was reminded of how much I love my family and the city I call home, which has been blossoming with vitality as new and fun restaurants/bars/lounges open up. I cannot wait for this summer which for me will start immediately after the last final on April 30th. I have never in my life felt for sick, tired, and fed up with school.

the difference between my friend and I

My friend talks to me about her $300 D&G sun glasses, her $400 Gucci purse, and her $300 Prada shoes. She is addicted to shopping, and she is not a rich girl by any means, she is buried in debt. She has the audacity to tell me that she buys stuff on sale; she actually thinks that a pair of glasses formerly priced at $400, are a great catch at $200.

I told her that I could never be able to pay that much money for a pair a glasses or a purse, I really do not see the need when I can buy similar items at much lower prices. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t do my shopping at Salvation Army. I am a girl too, I buy lots of purses and shoes, a lot more than I probably need. I also enjoy a certain quality in the items that I buy, but there comes a point when the difference between my Nine West purse and her Gucci one is something that in Albanian we call: pordhe.

I object to such foolish luxuries. No. 1: I cannot afford them! No. 2: even if I could afford them I would refuse to buy them! I would rather take a vacation instead of a pair of glasses and a purse. She says that that’s the difference between us; she gets a lot more pleasure from her shoes and purses than a vacation. She might have a valid point, but I still do not understand.

I also don’t think it’s acceptable for her to stroll around in her $300 shoes (that’s only one pair, think about all the other ones in the closet) when there are people in the world who go bare foot every day…not to speak about starvation and other similar tragedies. I am not talking about being stingy to the point where you completely deprive yourself of the pleasures of shopping; all I am trying to say is that it is possible to get the same pleasure from a brand like Nine West and the like as opposed to Prada, Gucci or Christian Dior. I guess it all comes down to priorities, ands mine are certainly not the same as hers.