Vitet qe mbaj mbi supe e dashur...

Every weekend or so I visit my grandmother. When I saw her last weekend, I told her about the party on New Year’s Eve, and I asked her if she would dance with me when that happened. She said of course I will, and I was overwhelmed by sadness, kicking myself for even asking that stupid question. What she doesn’t realize is that two years ago she suffered a stroke and is now unable to move or stand up without the help of my aunt. It is a great pain for me to see her at this state, not because she is my grandmother, but because of the vibrancy and life that once existed in her soul. She was strong as a rock, well educated, smart, and one of the most outgoing people I have ever met. Well educated for her meant going to law school as an adult with four children and a husband to take care of, during a time which was much harder then most of you could imagine: communism. As she aged she still maintained the same thirst for life, and knowledge. She was still up-to-date with current events, still active in her home, and always firing up conversations with young and old.
Today she sits in a red chair, with a pensive look in her eyes. She will no longer start a conversation with you, but merely talk when she is asked a question and even at that time she will simply state a yes or no. I often wonder what goes on in her mind.
What hurts me the worst is to see my father living her present state. Although he once told me that it’s better for her to be alive than dead, I know how much it hurts him not to see her be present in life.
My grandmother doesn’t remember much about what happened yesterday or what she ate for lunch, but strangely enough if you ask her about the name of a character in the past or anything about history/geography she will give you the right answer without hesitation. Once in a while when my uncle and dad visit her they start a singing marathon with old Albanian and Italian songs. I think this is suitable for her. She lived her live fully, with passion and dignity, and it would only be fair that she exits this life savoring the best of her past memories.