Roses from my tiny garden.

Thank you for your guidance,
thank you for your kind spirit,
thank you for being there when I had no one to turn to,
thank you for giving me the passion that you posses,
thank you for showing me little pieces of the world,
thank you for all the wonderful memories,
thank you for all the lessons,
and thank you for being the man you are!

Live long,
I will always need you.
Happy birthday dad.

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Happy anniversary to me and my love.
One, two, three, four candles for us...I am amazed at time, I have no clue as to where it all went, but I know that the majority of it was spent loving you.

Blueberries

This is the first time I am participating in Poetry Thursday. How funny that it should be on the topic of food. I love food, especially fruit like blueberries that Frost writes about:

Blueberries
Blueberries as big as the end of your thumb,
Real sky-blue, and heavy, and ready to drum
In the cavernous pail of the first one to come!
And all ripe together, not some of them green
And some of them ripe!
You ought to have seen!

~Robert Frost

Poetry Thursday

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A few facts about blueberries that I found online:

"Blueberries neutralize free radical damage to the collagen matrix of cells and tissues that can lead to cataracts, glaucoma, varicose veins, hemorrhoids, peptic ulcers, heart disease and cancer."

"Pterostilbene, a powerful antioxidant compound found in blueberries, which is already known to fight cancer, may also help lower cholesterol. "

"Researchers found that diets rich in blueberries significantly improved both the learning capacity and motor skills of aging rats, making them mentally equivalent to much younger rats."
We should all eat more blueberries! Start a blueberry revolution!

p.s. I'm off on a mini adventure to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina until Monday...it's not like I have many readers here, so hey I can afford some time off...

Find the purpose

I am trapped, lost, and confused. The idea that everyday goes by as a waste makes me cry. Every day I read, I write, I take pictures, I cook, I dance, I dream, all without a definite purpose. Until a few months ago school gave me a purpose. The purpose was to study, to go to classes, to take exams, to turn in papers, to give presentations. It was a purpose that had a purpose, but at the end that purpose failed. I could get up again, brush off all the dirt away from me, start studying again for a doomed test, fill out applications again, write personal statements, while all the while not knowing if I really want to continue on that path.

My former boss, a lawyer, told me that I must not really want to go to law school. In fact, that my purpose for wanting to study law was simply to occupy myself with something while I figured out what to do with my life, and at the same time to prove to myself and to others that I’m worth something and that I could become someone. Instead, he told me to choose doing what gives me pleasure, to write, to take pictures, to travel, to go live in Paris if that pleased me, to study something just for the purpose of gaining knowledge and not obtaining a career. I could not find any words to justify my wants in life. He made me feel a call for some time to think, to talk with myself. Was he such a vicious dream-killer? Or, were my beliefs, dreams, and purposes so weak that he was able to turn them into question marks with a 5 minute speech? Was he right? Was I wrong? …I am still looking for these answers.

I tend to believe that everything happens for a reason. But if I was to be candid with my belief, I would not be experiencing these dilemmas today. I would have already concluded that because I did not get admittance to my law school of choice, it was meant to be that law school was not for me, and I would have already moved on into something else and closed this confusing chapter of my life. Instead I’m clinging on….could there be a reason for this?

This time I am taking a different approach to answer the dilemmas which hurt like pointy arrows in my body. I am giving myself some time to explore life, to think about my options over steamy cups of tea during hot Floridian summers, to explore my needs, to travel around my creativity, to discover nature, to rekindle dreams which I have not so far allowed myself to dream because I deemed them as impossible, to create a new me. I am letting things come to me…

Loving a child...

I have a new teacher in my life. He is a 2 year old boy who radiates joy, laughter, silliness, and freedom in my life. He is not my own, he is the treasure of two lucky people. I have been lucky enough to enjoy little pieces of him for the past three weeks, and will do so for three more weeks to come. How lucky am I?

He laughs hysterically at my silly faces, he jumps up and down at the sight of ice scream, he giggles when I tell him that I will take him out for a ride in my car, he shakes when he hears music. It's incredibly simple to please him (pleasing him also pleases my inner child). Adults can be so difficult to please. You can shower them with love, kindness and a myriad of other things and they still are inappreciative.

Children are miracles who fill your life with magical moments.

love...

I love the ocean…
I love my parents…
I love to give gifts…
I love children…
I love the color green and ripe avocados…
I love music…
I love those moments when my mom, my sister and I lay down on a bed laughing hysterically for no specific reason…
I love a great book that keeps me up until early in the morning…
I love eating cheese after ice-cream…
I love vinegar…
I love cooking…
I love traveling and especially taking road trips…
I love exploring the city in which I live and finding little nooks which I never knew existed…
I love taking pictures (of strangers)…
I love my friends…
I love fruit: cherries, strawberries, blueberries, grapes, watermelon (I can eat a whole one just by myself)…
I love to read old love letters from my mom and dad; love was so much different during their time, much more simple…
I love my house; the love, energy and thought that we have put into it…
I love checking the mail every day…
I love gardening…
I love spending the night at the beach…
I love my family the most…

free...

Expose yourself to your deepest fear.
After that, fear has no power,
And the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes.
You are free. ~ jim morrison

"Making things complicated is easy. Achieving simplicity is tough"- Bruno Munari

Several times I attempted to write something. Several times I erased everything, shut down my computer and went away not wanting to write anymore. In reality, not wanting to write is not the problem. The problem is wanting so much to write, having so much to say that it becomes almost impossible to say it all. It's just one of those situations when you have a million ideas traveling your mind, a million projects wanting to start, yet you find no strength or courage to get started on something.

I came home after several days of being away, spent at the beach with the loveliest child in the entire world. I think children posses a secret key to happiness. They find joy and laughter in the smallest little things. Their key to happiness is not truly a secret. The same key could be utilized by adults as well, our problem is that we ignore simple pleasures. Or if we do not ignore them we have a sick way of destroying an otherwise perfect day by nagging, complaining and arguing over the smallest little things.

So I am on a mission to find: simplicity!

"Every day the choice is presented to us, to live up to the spirit that is in us, or deny it." - Henry Miller

I have certain needs....
I have a need to write, to take pictures, to paint, to create, to play, to travel, to live fully and with inspiration, to live every moment, to live with peace and consciously. I feel like a stubborn child who wants everything: toys, chocolate, ice cream, candy...and never gets enough. I have a need of finding an extraordinary flair in every day of my life. I have a need to explore within my being: within my mind, body and soul. I have a need to search for my destiny. I have a need to make all of these needs a method of securing a living.

I have a need for chocolate and a good dose of livelihood to go along with everyday of my life. I need vitality, emotions, and collections of memories in order for me to be alive to the fullest of my potential. Above all things I need you: to love me, to protect me, to cherish all these needs together with me, to explore our togetherness, to travel the paths of the endless possibilities. I have a need to dream, and to make these dreams come true. I have a need to choose my destiny for every minute that lays in my future. All these needs...I must have a selfish complexion...

p.s. I have a need for the beach and the deep blue mood that the ocean and sky resonate...
p.s.s. I have a need for p.s.'

The Beginning...

I woke up today and realized that I needed/wanted a blog. A bit too late one might say. I say that too late seems to be a pattern in my life, and if not too late it may be way too early, which in essence has the same effect as being way too late.

My life has suddenly become idle as I have graduated from college! I never knew I would be so sad to graduate, perhaps of the unknown that lays ahead. I struggle to build a solid path between my dreams, desires and reality.

What you will find in this blog in the posts to come:
-words
-photography
-links to interesting sites