I carry your heart with me.

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
my heart) i am never without it (anywhere
i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)
i fear
not fate(for you are my fate, my sweet) i want
no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)
e.e. cummings
------------
I know of one person in my life who can literally say:
"I carry your heart, I carry it in my heart".
She has been blessed by the heart!

Blah/Blue Saturday.

I had a blahhh kind of Saturday during these last days of November.
A blah/blue kind of feeling which made blood rush to my head,
and then tears come down my cheeks, and then a feeling of loss.

Sometimes all we need is a smile,
a hug, a sign of love, affection,
or maybe just a very hot shower.
The problem is: why can’t we simply ask for it?

Hot and cold
exposed elements,
feelings,
turn into stones.

Giving thanks.

I am thankful for all the loving people in my life,
family and friends.
I am thankful for my home.
I am thankful for being able to breathe in fresh air.
I am thankful for seeing beauty with my eyes
and hearing music with my ears.
I am thankful for being able to walk.
I am thankful for things that make me laugh
and things that make me cry.
I am thankful for living near the ocean.
I am thankful for the sky, the sun, the moon,
the starts, mountains and trees.
I am thankful for all the children of the world.
I am thankful for my health and happiness.
I am thankful for having a heart.
I am thankful for smiles.
I am thankful that my grocery store sells pizza dough.
I am thankful for flowers.

I wish you all a wonderful day of laughter,
love, warm thoughts,
and beautiful memories.
Slow down in your life to feel the power of simplicity,
make an effort to be more aware and present in every moment that goes by.

Turkey Time.

I have never hosted Thanksgiving dinner before.
I am giving it a shot this year.
Here is a tentative menu:

Turkey with stuffing alla Albanese. (Kulaç or shok, kulaç. I have to enlist my mom’s help for that.)
Mushroom Soup
Stir Fry Veggies
Meat Loaf filled with Eggs and Cheese
Sweet Potatoes Au Gratin
Oven Baked Broccoli with Leeks
Curried Lentils and Vegetables
Brussels Sprouts Vinaigrette
Sallate Ruse (Literal translation: Russian salad. No idea why it’s called that, but it’s an Albanian traditional dish and I love it.).

Dessert: Kahlua Coffe Cake and Chocolate chip cookies, all made by me. I don’t like apple pies, pumpkin pies, or any cranberry pies, so I opted for chocolate, coffee and some Kahlua. In addition there will be: roasted nuts, dried figs, cranberries, green apples, and pomegranates.

I know it doesn’t look like a traditional Thanksgiving dinner without any gravy, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, or apple pie but since most of my family (including myself) doesn’t prefer these American delicacies, I had to modify a few things and leave a couple of things out. But hey we still got the bird.

Happy Thanksgiving friends!
Give thanks for all the blessings in your life.

Bue skies.

I am just a girl trying to grow up.

Movement inside the head.

It’s hard to distinguish reality from dreams sometimes,
but maybe not everything has to be decided
at the exact moment when life happens.
Maybe we all need some time,
to fully comprehend the reality of our surroundings.
So when you wake up at night,
and cannot clearly understand
if the voices in your head are just part of a dream
or are really happening,
shake your head around,
let your hair flow freely,
maybe then you will understand,
that it was just a dream.

When the morning comes,
hop in the shower
and wash your head with cold water,
let it dry out in the sun,
so that you can clear away
all the bad dreams,
along with all the apprehensions,
expectations,
and heavy tensions.

This is how you prepare yourself
to experience more
movement inside your head.

"Our feelings are our most genuine paths to knowledge."
-Audre Lorde

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...

What makes me mad is: Christmas decorations in the beginning of November. I cannot understand it, apart from the obvious that this is the most commercial holiday ever. Last night my neighbor put up lights around his home and other decorations. I feel as if people like him are trying to expedite the yearly cycle of winter holidays and the entrance of the New Year, thus making our lives go by faster. Well, I refuse for my life to walk by me at a faster rate than usual; I refuse to put Christmas decorations up since the beginning of November.

Another thing that makes me mad is people who staple the bottom of their pants when they are too long, or somehow need adjustment, especially with dress pants. It’s not being too cheap that bothers me, but it’s the fact that these people completely ignore the simple norms of dressing up, grrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

My head.

If you could take a peek inside my head,
you would be terrified by all the higgledy-piggledy chaos.
You would find loads of things I need to do,
loads of things I want to do,
many loads of obligations,
and a whole bunch of things which are simply trash.
Sometimes it gets so loud in there,
so much commotion,
so much talk,
so much movement,
that it all makes me dizzy.

My life is not crazy busy right now as it used to be,
but his is, which is kind of the same thing.
I miss some quiet time with him,
the kind of time when there is no need to say anything,
time to stare at each other aimlessly.

Thinking of all this,
I have come to realize,
that it is possible for two people
to live together,
eat together,
sleep together,
and still deeply miss each other.

Imperative: study!

Sit down and then study, study, study your ass off.
And when your ass is gone, study some more.
--
I was watching Grey's Anatomy (yes, I am a Mcjunkie for grey's, which is one of the only shows on TV that I enjoy) last night, and there was this patient who went at the hospital with her hand burned. It turns out she burned it herself on the stove in an attempt to get out of taking the Bar exam. By the end of this month if I end up in a hospital with the palm of my hand burned, you will know what happened.